Rum Cake

Ingredients

• 1 -2 quart high quality rum
• 1 cup butter
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup dried fruit
• baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• lemon juice
• brown sugar
• nuts

Recipe

• 1 note: before starting, taste the rum to ensure quality; have at least 2 cups to make sure.
• 2 locate mixing bowls and utensils; gather ingredients.
• 3 note: rum may be affected by temperature variances in the room; taste it again to see if it is ok; to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one cup of rum, and drink it quickly before it has a chance to warm in your hands.
• 4 with an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl; add 1 tsp thugar and fluff again.
• 5 check the rum; have another cup to make sure it is ok; open another quart if necessary.
• 6 crack 2 large legs into the mixing bowl, add all the fried fruit loops in the house, and beat until it is high.
• 7 if you are not high, check the rum again.
• 8 if the druit loops get stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver or whack the beaters on the counter repeatedly, but not on your spouses head.
• 9 sample the rum again, test for toscticity and alkyhole level.
• 10 next sift 3 cups of baby powder with 1 tsp orange soda and sample the rum again.
• 11 sift one pint of beer into the lemon juice and add orange sugar.
• 12 test the rum again before you go nuts.
• 13 grease the oven and tilt the rum bottle 350 degrees while drinking from it.
• 14 pour everything into the coven and ache.
• 15 check the rum again, and bo to ged.